I remember the first time I listened to Andra Day’s song, “I’ll Rise Up”. I was staying with my friend Tara because my work assignment was closer to her home. She showed me the video and it just wowed me. She is a very gracious host 🙂
As I watched the video on youtube it brought tears to my eyes. It tells the story of a woman who takes care of her husband who requires her assistance to bathe him, dress him, place him in his wheelchair and even feed him. The storyline of the video starts with him using his communication device to ask her out on a date. She gets him ready and then gets herself ready so they could go out and enjoy their date.
The reason I cry every time I watch this video, and even now as I write this, is because I have been on the receiving of needing my husband to assist me after my miscarriage in October of 2016. It was my most devastating one yet. This one laid me flat, literally. It was 12 weeks and we thought, yes we made to the end of the first trimester so we are good. But, sadly, no, because as I stood in the kitchen preparing our lunch at the stove, my water broke and the onslaught began.
As I sat on the toilet, I was bracing for all to be released from my body. It came fast and heavy. The next thing I remember is being shaken by my husband as I lay on the bathroom floor which felt nice and cool because my body was hot. He sat me up and told me I had a seizure, this was new for me. I was not able to do anything on my own for the next 7 days. My husband helped me to the bathroom and prepared all my food and herbal blends with my directions to build my blood and body back up after all that blood loss.
As I write this, I continue to do the work and follow my own F.L.O.W. Process while learning my body in my forties. I am adding to the work I did in my 20’s and 30’s that led to me giving birth to my daughter after being told that having a child was not a part of my future. Now in my 40’s, my hormonal interactions are different and my body feels completely different. For me, I have to go even deeper beyond what I have already been doing, we never stop learning, right?
I am also focusing on the spiritual aspect of miscarriages and reading, “Spirit Babies: How To Communicate With The Child You Are Meant To Have” by Walter Makichen, has been very helpful.
I love my husband and we both knew, when we met, that were the one the other prayed for. He has my back so I know that I can RISE UP A THOUSAND TIMES 😉 I had been through some relationships that were holistically unhealthy for me so I got tired and in September, 2007, I went on a year of consecration so I could focus on me and what I needed. It was during this time that I prayed for my future husband who I planned to have children with. We are working on it. We do not know the outcome but we are stepping out in faith knowing that it will work out it way it shall and our life will be a testimony that will help others.
I invite you to watch the video and listen to the words to give you encouragement to keep rising in the midst of it all. Also check out the Spirit Babies book which also covers topics on secondary infertility and adoption. In the chapter focused on adoption he mentions that there are times the spirit baby uses the body of one woman to deliver them so they can live out their life with another family. That helped me understand some things and answered some questions I had.
My husband and I are forever grateful in the midst of it all 😉
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Cathyann Ellison is a Fertility Health & Wellness Coach who helps women to experience optimal health before, during and after pregnancy. You can schedule your Healthy Womb Clarity Session to see how it could look to receive support on your Fertile Womb Lifestyle journey.